Roxanne Column art - 9.10

Mass chaos.

Seems that life sometimes provides moments of mass chaos. The moment when all projects need to be completed at the same time. The time when sickness hits at the worst possible moment. The kid’s school events all land on the same day and at the same time. Something breaks when it’s least convenient.

A world-wide pandemic caused chaos globally. Riots, protests and social injustice have created pockets of chaos. Election year and road construction can feel like chaos. Any moment that disrupts the typical routine and creates a sense of loss of control is chaotic in my mind.

This is too hard; I quit.

I am embarrassed to admit that this is typically my response. When things get hard and chaotic, I want to quit. It’s like the time that I trained for a 5K color run. About three-fourths the way through, I was tired and uncomfortable. When others might buckle down and push through, my first inclination is to waive the white flag.

I don’t know where or why I picked up this mentality. I do know that it has always been with me.

I want life to be easy going. It would be nice if everything could go smoothly. I don’t like struggle or pain. Just give me ease and comfort.

Life is hard, but damn it’s worth living.

I am so grateful for this awareness over the past four years. The hardest things in life have been my greatest teachers. The most difficult accomplishments are the ones that I am most proud of.

And, no matter what may come, I have survived all of my worst moments.

I am alive. My heart is beating. I experience moments of great joy and breathtaking awe. At times, I am moved to tears. All of life’s experiences are worth having...even in mass chaos.

Contact Roxanne Converse-Whiting at roxanne@gothenburgleader.com, or call 308.536.6499